Errand for Hubby

So it's a Saturday and we get a call. Grandma is looking for Naruto t-shirt for little Timmy* in Chicago. Do we have any? Of course not, we just opened the store three weeks ago. So hubby sends me to Anime convention. My mission, get t-shirt from Other Cool Comic Book Owner's wife, eat lunch and head home.
I head to hotel five miles down the road where hubby sends me. I see nothing out of the ordinary. Must not be the place. I call hubby. Whoops, convention is actually downtown. Back into the mom-mobile I go.
Downtown is all torn up due to light rail construction. (I know, your town got light rail ages ago. We are a bit behind here.) 25 minutes later, I find suitable parking. (Only 1 homeless person shouting obscenities, score!)
I walk to hotel.
I see teenage girls in short plaid skirts and boys in oversized 80's jackets. Yup, I am in the right place.
I walk in and ask volunteer where retail room is. When he raises his head from his little toy (it's actually a miniature gaming piece), he grunts and points in an easterly direction. I head east across the lobby.
I find my way to the registration table and ask multicolored hair girl where the retail room is. I am directed to the 5th floor of the hotel. I walk to elevator. Hmmm, only goes to 3rd floor. Back to technicolor hair chick. Oops, must head back toward non-verbal gaming guy and use those elevators.
On my way, I pass large hairless man with no t-shirt, tight pants and handbar mustache. All righty then.
I find elevator and share the ride with earnest volunteer. He asks if I know a good Japanese restaraunt with decent Bento boxes. I am proud I have heard of a Bento box and point him to a market with them. He laments that he already tried that place and they are done for the day. He is searching for lunch for honored guest's daughter at the convention. I wish him well and get off on 5.
Hmm, just hotel rooms. Doesn't look like big retail room where you can buy t-shirts. I find oddly dressed youth entangled in geek passion. (Heads closely positioned while reading Japanese comic books.) I ask where to find retail room. They point me down to the 4th floor near technicolor hair chick. I thank them and let them get back to their groping...of the book.
Back down the elevator, across the lobby and past technicolor hair chick to the escalator to the 4th floor. I am now sharing breathing space with girl in short frilly dress and cellulite. She is holding leash of boy in a large box covered with pink hair. I am positive I am headed in the right direction.
I walk into the retail room and spot Other Cool Comic Book Owner's booth. I head over searching for wife. No wife. No t-shirt either. I take a risk and walk around to find the t-shirt. Timmy is counting on me.
I finally get the nerve to ask a lonely booth worker. She giggles. She has never read Naruto. She only sells pornographic anime. NICE!
I turn around and see wife and hubby comic book team who we invited to our grand opening. Great, they think I am a perv now. I chit chat, thankful to see a familiar unpainted face. They point me to a new booth that thankfully has the stuff I need.
And head home.
Who needs lunch after that?

*Not his real name.