Adventures of the Female SpazDog

12 Steps of Disorganization

2009-06-11T17:18:00.003-06:00

I am at the comic book store because Spazdog is being locked up for Muscular Dystrophy Association.

But as I was switching out with our favorite daytime helper, she told me that Shawn admitted that the chaos in the store was totally his fault and that is glad he is surrounded by people who want to help him stay organized.

That made me think of the AA 12 steps. I wonder which one he's on? If you think of me and other excellent organizational goddesses as the god referred to in the steps, he might very well be on step 6 or 7.

THE TWELVE STEPS OF DISORGANIZED COMIC BOOK STORE OWNERS ANONYMOUS

We admitted we were powerless over disorganization — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (Girl SpazDog and friends) could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Girl SpazDog and friends as we understood Her.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to Girl SpazDog, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have Girl SpazDog remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Her to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons and comics we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such artists and writers wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them, the store or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through organizing and diligence to improve our conscious contact with comics wanting only for organizational skills of Her will for the store and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to all customers and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

We'll see how he keeps it up once it's organized.

Dedicated Gamer

2009-05-23T14:09:00.002-06:00

I just sold a Star Wars collectable minatures game (cmg) booster to kid. He had come in earlier and bought two of my three boosters on the shelf. He came back 2 hours later to buy the last one. I asked him if he was getting good pieces out of the booster packs. I mean, why else would you keep buying? His friend gleefully reported that he bought it so that the other guy they play with wouldn't get the pieces he needed by buying the last booster box.

Now I used to play a cmg game called Heroclix but sheesh, I was never so cunning as to buy up the boosters so my opponents wouldn't buy them. That is some serious gaming strategy right there.

I just thank my lucky stars that he's buying them at our shop and not off eBay. Yeah to helping your local comic book store!

I'm Back...

2009-05-22T09:44:00.003-06:00

Microblogging just doesn't do it all for me.

I need more space.

I need more words.

I need formatting.

So, I am back.

Life is good. Yesterday was a very manly day for Female Spazdog. Cleaned battery posts to get the mom-mobile up and running again. Taught little girl spazdog how to jump a dead car battery. Little spazdog had no interest.

Store is well. My life has changed since last year.
...new job, new volunteering, new hair, new school for kids, etc.
the list could go on and on. But I will spare you.

We'll just keep this focused on the store.

What I am reading...
Books without pictures: The Graveyard Book, Good Omens and Three Days to Never.
Books with pictures: Air, Pride and Prejudice, House of Mystery and Young Liars.

Where have you been Female SpazDog?

2007-05-07T15:24:00.000-06:00

Sick from a stick.
Apparently working a day job, volunteering, mothering and owning a business kind of wears you down. So much so that when you defy the laws of physics to step on stick and puncture the top of your foot, it turns into evil infection that turns you into the gimping Female SpazDog.
But then the universe has to have some giggles. So then I am turned into gimping Female SpazDog with pink eye.
But because you have to make the story even more compelling, the doctor has to give you antibiotics for your foot and eye that you are allergic to so that you turn into the gimping non-functioning Female SpazDog with pink eye.

But I am on the mend. Enough that I helped out with Free Comic Book Day. More about that in a day or two.

Our Brush with the Secret Service

2007-03-21T08:35:00.000-06:00

Ok, so really it was just a phone call, but it was still strange to be calling them. In case you are unaware, the secret service handles investigation of counterfeit money. Yup, the SpazDog got passed a fake $20.

How stupid do we feel? As soon as we swiped it with our counterfeit pen, it turned black immediately. By that time, the thief was long gone.

Yup....Sigh....

Anyway, if you see a blond trailer trash type who is completely tweeked out, wearing tank top three sizes too small and dragging a scraggly looking kid, beware of the money she will give you.
It's probably fake.

Death = $$$

2007-03-08T20:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, for those of you who think I do this for the love of comics, you might not want to read this. Because the truth of the matter is, I am doing it for my hubby. All I want is for him to do what he loves. Secondary to that, I don't want to lose my shirt doing it.
So how happy was I when I heard from hubby early yesterday afternoon that our sales totals were double our average day. Why? Apparently Captain America had been shot. Hmm, I say we start shooting up all sorts of superheroes if that's what sells.
I know, I know, people were only buying to own a piece of history. That's cool. I just hope a few of them open the book and see something they like.

My favorite comment the whole day:
I told my Dear Auntie what a great day we were having.
She asked, "Why?"
I said, "Captain America died today."
Her response, "Oh, was he old?"

Oh to go back to those days when I probably would have asked the same question!

I am officially one of them...

2007-02-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

****SPOILER ALERT***** (if you haven't read Civil War #7 and don't want to know what happened, don't read this post until you have.)

I was reading Civil War #7 the other day. (Still not one of them.)

As I was reading it, I was thinking to myself, "Hmmm, if Mr. Fantastic gets shot while he's all stretched out does it do less damage or more damage when he shrinks back down?" (Getting close to nerdom, but not quite there.)

I then turned to ask my hubby and Magic Card Dude their opinion on the matter.

DING!! DING!! DING!! --- We have a winner!! She is officially a comic book nerd.

This kid won't take a hint

2007-02-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ninja Kid is back...again. Today he rummaged through Daniel's stuff to "find cool cards." Are you shitting me? I told him that I was tired of him coming in here and acting like he lived here. I told him not to touch Daniel's stuff any more.
SOMEONE KILL ME!!!
Other than that, it's a boring day today.

New Rule at the Store

2007-02-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Ninja kid's mom didn't even wait to see if we would ever open the store today. The Ninja kid and friend were waiting at the door before opening. I asked how long he was planning to stay. He said, "About 4:00 o'clock or so."
Uh, I don't think so!
I layed out the new rule for them. Unattended kids can only stay 3 hours.
They were gone by 1:00PM. My babysitting days are over!

Grammar and Bad Ass

2007-01-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

How many times can you use the word Bass Ass in a 5 minute conversation?
How many different parts of speech can bad ass be used as?

I know these questions are keeping you up late at night. I shall give you an answer...

How many times can you use the word Bass Ass in a 5 minute conversation?
6 times.

How many different parts of speech can it be used in?
3 - adjective, adverb, and noun

(adjective) You have some bad ass stuff in this store.

(adverb-describing an adjective) Do you have any bad ass 12 or 20 sided dice?

(noun) Kevin Smith is bad ass.

I am sure you can think of more, but these came from a true conversation I had 5 minutes ago with new customer. Maybe I will slip a thesaurus in his bag next time he comes in?

Our New Permenant Fixture

2007-01-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

For the past three weeks we have had the same Ninja Kid in our store. You know the type 12 going on 42. He knows everything there is to know about everything.
Week 1, he stayed for 4 hours.
Week 2, he stayed for 6 hours.
This is week 3 and he has been here for 2 1/2 hours. The reason for the short time frame? We opened 2 hours later than normal!
Mom drops him off with no food and $20 bucks. Last week he had starburst for lunch while we ate pizza. (I am not cruel, just don't want to be sued for giving someone else's kid food poisoning.)
When he started bullying my Dear Son into getting cheats for his Nintendo game on our cash register computer, I lost it. The friend he brought with him this week "got it" and has now been trying to get him to leave for the past 20 minutes. He has to finish his level before he can leave.
If you work for Child Proective Services, feel free to drop by any Saturday and add to your caseload.

2/27/07 ****Update**** No Ninja Kid this week. Did my powers of ultimate PMS work? Find out next week!

We got "jacked"

2007-01-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

We had these older kids hanging out. I was busily sorting the "S's". You know Spider-man, Superman, She-Hulk, Surrogates...there are a crap load of S titles. Hubby was pimping the comics hard. (Two new subscribers in one hour, not bad eh?)

The kids leave without buying anything. (The big clue we missed.)

Moments later Loyal Skater Kid comes in and says, "You know those two kids who came in? They just jacked two comics."

***Sigh***

We thanked Loyal Skater Kid and gave him another free poster.

You gotta pay off your informants. Maybe I should pay Loyal Skater Kid protection?

Or not.

Fashion vs. Business

2007-01-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am in a horrible dilemma. Hubby has asked me to stop by Other Cool Comic Book Owner's store and pick up a few comic books. I just realized in horror, I am in the same dress I wore last time I was there. What do I do?
1) Go in and joke, "Yeah, this is the only dress I own."
2) Try to hit one of their locations that I haven't been seen in the dress.
3) Pretend I forgot and say, "Oh yeah, how funny you caught that?"

UGGG!!!!!

Hubby just called, I have to go to a different store and the Other Cool Comic Book Owner's wife is there, not him. My secret is safe!

Getting Ready to Go Yoko

2006-12-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

How difficult is it to get what you pay for? So far I have been letting dear hubby run the "comic pimping" aspects of this venture. However, it seems like some industry folks can't answer basic questions. I know people are passionate about comics and do this stuff for the love of the books, but hello, I have a business to run here. I won't go into detail about the latest who can't seem to answer basic questions to protect my hubby's credibility. But I am telling you, soon I may have to start doing the Yoko thing and rear my ugly little head into these conversations.

This is your only warning gentlemen!

My Aching Dogs

2006-12-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

My feet hurt. I stupidly wore 2 inch heeled boots to my day job. We had our holiday party and I wanted to show folks that I don't always look like something the cat dragged in.
After 8 hours of schmoozing, I had to go to Other Cool Comic Book Owner's store to pick up some stuff that sold faster than expected in our store. We are vey lucky to know Other Cool Comic Book Owner. He and his wife are always willing to help when we make rookie errors in buying. If there is comic book heaven, they have secured their spot!
Then mother-in-law drops the bomb that we must wear all black to holiday pictures on Sunday. So after picking up comics (and reading Spiderman #534 in the car), it's off the mall to buy family clothes for pictures.
Next time I decide to wear heels, I am bringing flats for the last minute stops.

Dirty Girl

2006-12-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

Uh, I think it's time to clean the bathroom.

Overheard in our bathroom when a mom took her 3 year old daughter in:
"Don't touch that, who knows who touched it before."

Errand for Hubby

2006-12-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

So it's a Saturday and we get a call. Grandma is looking for Naruto t-shirt for little Timmy* in Chicago. Do we have any? Of course not, we just opened the store three weeks ago. So hubby sends me to Anime convention. My mission, get t-shirt from Other Cool Comic Book Owner's wife, eat lunch and head home.
I head to hotel five miles down the road where hubby sends me. I see nothing out of the ordinary. Must not be the place. I call hubby. Whoops, convention is actually downtown. Back into the mom-mobile I go.
Downtown is all torn up due to light rail construction. (I know, your town got light rail ages ago. We are a bit behind here.) 25 minutes later, I find suitable parking. (Only 1 homeless person shouting obscenities, score!)
I walk to hotel.
I see teenage girls in short plaid skirts and boys in oversized 80's jackets. Yup, I am in the right place.
I walk in and ask volunteer where retail room is. When he raises his head from his little toy (it's actually a miniature gaming piece), he grunts and points in an easterly direction. I head east across the lobby.
I find my way to the registration table and ask multicolored hair girl where the retail room is. I am directed to the 5th floor of the hotel. I walk to elevator. Hmmm, only goes to 3rd floor. Back to technicolor hair chick. Oops, must head back toward non-verbal gaming guy and use those elevators.
On my way, I pass large hairless man with no t-shirt, tight pants and handbar mustache. All righty then.
I find elevator and share the ride with earnest volunteer. He asks if I know a good Japanese restaraunt with decent Bento boxes. I am proud I have heard of a Bento box and point him to a market with them. He laments that he already tried that place and they are done for the day. He is searching for lunch for honored guest's daughter at the convention. I wish him well and get off on 5.
Hmm, just hotel rooms. Doesn't look like big retail room where you can buy t-shirts. I find oddly dressed youth entangled in geek passion. (Heads closely positioned while reading Japanese comic books.) I ask where to find retail room. They point me down to the 4th floor near technicolor hair chick. I thank them and let them get back to their groping...of the book.
Back down the elevator, across the lobby and past technicolor hair chick to the escalator to the 4th floor. I am now sharing breathing space with girl in short frilly dress and cellulite. She is holding leash of boy in a large box covered with pink hair. I am positive I am headed in the right direction.
I walk into the retail room and spot Other Cool Comic Book Owner's booth. I head over searching for wife. No wife. No t-shirt either. I take a risk and walk around to find the t-shirt. Timmy is counting on me.
I finally get the nerve to ask a lonely booth worker. She giggles. She has never read Naruto. She only sells pornographic anime. NICE!
I turn around and see wife and hubby comic book team who we invited to our grand opening. Great, they think I am a perv now. I chit chat, thankful to see a familiar unpainted face. They point me to a new booth that thankfully has the stuff I need.
And head home.
Who needs lunch after that?

*Not his real name.